Jon: Good afternoon and welcome to today's webcast. This is Jon Berg
and I am an abstinence content specialist with Pal-Tech. We provide
abstinence education training, technical assistance and capacity
building for grantees with the Abstinence Education Division of the Family and
Youth Services Bureau. Today we'll begin with part one of a two-part
series of web casts that will provide the science behind nature-based theory
which explains how developmental differences may manifest in the way
boys and girls grow and learn differently. Implications of these
differences for educating boys and girls will also be addressed. Part two of
the series will build on the developmental differences explained
today. We'll focus on how to communicate effectively with boys and girls and
how to implement the ideas to improve program effectiveness. We are
excited about this opportunity and believe it will help you to continue
to improve your programs and therefore positively impact the health of
teenagers around the country. I am the moderator for today's web
cast and on behalf of our team, I would like to thank you for taking part
in today's web cast. Please be ready at the end of the presentation with
any questions or comments as we will provide time for discussion. Before I
introduce our speaker, I would like to go over a few key points. You will
receive an email shortly after the conference call with the evaluation form
attached. Please take time to complete and return the evaluation form. Your
feedback is very important to us as we continue to look for ways to improve
our webccasts and how we serve you. Currently your telephone lines are in
listen-only mode to avoid any background noise during the presentation.
Prior to the question and answer period, I will go over the directions on how
to "un-mute" your lines so you can comment or ask questions. It is an honor
to have Kathy Stephens, Executive Director of the Gurion Institute present,
present on this topic. It is my pleasure today to introduce her. Kathy
Stephens is a professional trainer, international presenter and co-author of
several books. "The Minds of Boys" - "Saving our Sons from Falling Behind
in School and Life" - "Strategies for Teaching Boys & Girls -Elementary
Level" and "Strategies for Teaching Boys & Girls - Secondary Level." Her work
has been featured in national publications including  Newsweek ,
 Readers Digest ,  Educational Leadership , (blip) and  Library Journal
and she is regularly interviewed by national media. Kathy works with
educators, parents and other youth-serving professionals helping them
understand nature-based theory and adapt curriculum to help both
boys and girls maximize their potential in the classroom and in life.
Kathy also facilitates training for adults, helping men and women
appreciate the nature of their differences and learn how to better
understand each other as they work and live together. Kathy has over
30 years of experience including teaching music, pre-kindergarten through
eighth grade, designing and administrating - administering programs in
early childhood care and education, domestic violence, juvenile
corrections, adult-community corrections, teen
pregnancy prevention, cultural competency and women's issues. Much of
her early work was done in economically disadvantaged minority communities.
Kathy holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in sociology and education from Old
Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia, a masters in public
administration from the University of Colorado, Colorado Springs, and is a
PhD candidate at the University of Alaska, Fairbanks. Kathy lives in
Colorado Springs with her husband, Don, and has two sons and seven
grandchildren. Okay, Kathy. The time is yours. KATHY: Okay. Thank you
very much, Jon. JON: And Kathy, you might also want to hit on your experience
as far as abstinence education? KATHY: That was my next point to make.
JON: Okay. Great. KATHY: Good. It is a real honor to be with you all this
afternoon. And in addition to the things John mentioned that I've been
involved in, I was also the executive director of a non-profit in Colorado,
working in the Colorado Springs School District for five years with
Abstinence Education funding from the federal government coming through
the state. So I know exactly what you all are dealing with in terms of,
you know, the mandates that you have, the goal objectives that you're
hoping to accomplish, and we worked with both boys and girls in our program.
Not as effectively with the boys, but worked on developing that and I'm
hoping that some of the information you learn today about how boys and
girls learn differently will help your programs as you work with both boys
and girls to try to forward the mission of your program. So let's get
on with it. First thing I want to do is tell you a little story. And this is
a story that was written to my co-author Michael Gurion by an 8th grade
girl who said, having read this in the newspaper, she said, "This is how it
feels to be an adolescent." So it's a communication between a
U.S. Navy ship (CLEARS THROAT) and the coast - off the coast of
Newfoundland and Canadian authorities - (blip) "Please divert your course
15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision." Canadian authorities, "No.
Divert your course 15 degrees to the south." U.S. Ship, "This is a U.S.
Navy ship. I say again, divert your course." Canadian authorities, "No.
Divert your course." U.S. ship, "This is the U.S.S. Coral Sea. (phonetic) We
are a large warship of the U.S. Navy. I say again, divert your course or
we'll be forced to take counter measures." Canadian authorities,
"This is a lighthouse. It's your call." Now I hope wherever you are,
you're laughing a little because the story is meant to be somewhat funny. But
it's a great metaphor for what we're talking about today in terms of who the
kids are when we are trying to send them messages. In terms of
gender, we believe they're a lighthouse. The science that we've been
accumulating over the last couple of decades - more and more can show us where
gender is located in the brain. And if you take a slice of a brain, a real
thin piece, put it under a microscope, you will not see race. You will not see
ethnicity, what culture somebody was raised in or what language they speak,
but there are many, many places you will see gender. So there's some
fundamental differences in how we're wired. Does that mean girls or boys are
better or less (blip) than the other? No, not at all. What it means is that
there are some differences in how we process information based on this
wiring that causes us to see things differently, to respond to things somewhat
differently. And if we understand those differences, we can better
communicate with the kids to help them in the ways that adult leadership is
supposed to help kids. Some pats - parts of the brain are very plastic.
For instance if you are born in the United States in Maine, you are born to
be able to hear the language that you hear spoken around you and
that's what you'll grow up learning to speak. If you're born in Texas, you
might hear English also, but you might hear it in a slightly different way.
(CLEARS THROAT) If you're born in Mexico, if you're born in, um, South Africa,
you might hear an entirely different language. Your brain is plastic enough to
learn any language that you hear as a child growing up. Children who
grow up in families with more than one language, have the plasticity to
learn more than one language and we had that plasticity for the first
few years of life up until about age 10 when the language window basically
closes. For rare, bizarre occasions when children don't hear language up
until that age, they never learn to speak. But that's the plasticity of our
brains where language is concerned. Gender's not very plastic. The brain
wiring that we have when we're born, doesn't really change. Certainly culture
affects it and if you take this um metaphor of the lighthouse, the lighthouse
is the gender that's there when the child arrives. The ship floating around
out in the water getting signals from the lighthouse are the gender
roles that we learn. And as I said, you know, Maine, Texas, South
Africa, wherever we're born and whatever culture we're raised in will give
us a different set of roles. We'll perceive how women and men behave based
on the culture of their environment. And so certainly that culture is
like an overlay. It's like an onion. The gender in our brain, the gender
we're born with is the pearl of the onion and all of the things we learn as
we interact with our environment and our culture overlay that. So
that there's layers and layers and layers. The culture my grandmother
learned as a girl growing up in the early 1900s about her role as a female
was certainly different than mine born in the later part of the 1900s
and different than my granddaughter who was born two years ago. So as we
look at the kids, if we can imagine they're each a lighthouse, they're
sending us signals. They're telling us things that are important for us
to know and they're telling them to the ships that are floating around
with whom they're going to interact and do things. So keep that lighthouse in
mind as we talk about gender and the brain. Also keep in mind that that I'm
going to do a lot of generalizing when I talk today. I'll be saying,
"The male brain tends to...the female brain tends to..." When I talk
about those, I may mention, "The female brain tends to do this" and you
may think, "Gosh. I know some girls who don't do that at all. Or don't act
like that. Or that doesn't fit for me." Fair enough. There are exceptions to
every generalization. But if we accept some of the generalizations about
kids, especially adolescents because we have such good research
now, it can help us as we design programs for the majority of kids. And then
we look at how we have to tweak those designs for the kids who may not quite
fit that generalization. At the same time we'll try really hard not to
stereotype because the stereotype has such a negative connotation based
on not fact um that we don't want to do that. So I'll try hard not to do
that but I will do some generalizing. So what kind of things do we learn from
research that we have and brain research is exciting because it's changing on a
daily basis. We're learning more and more and more all the time about
the brain. So what kind of things do we know now? And these are things that I
hope as you think about working with children who are adolescents especially
who are growing into adolescents, these are things they should know.
Their brain, when they are mature, is going to weigh about three pounds and
it's going to be about the consistency of soft butter which it is all along. And
now that's not soft butter if I set it out in the far South on the table and
leave it there. It's kind of soft butter as you leave it in the
refrigerator. So it has pliability to it. It bangs up against your skull
which is not like soft butter. It's hard as rock. And so imagine the kind of
things that kids do where they might be banging their head like hitting a
soccer ball, playing football, riding a bike without a helmet and
taking a spill. Um Falling out of the top bunk onto the hard floor. Children
experience a lot of brain injuries that are minor in terms of us not even
realizing that may have been what happened, but may have an impact on
brain function. And so that's one thing we have to keep in mind and for us
to keep in mind. If you're going to take care of your brain, take care of your
head. Be really careful. Encourage them to be - participate in activities
that won't hurt that brain. Now Daniel Emond (phonetic) who's a
neuro-psychiatrist (phonetic) and works with kids a lot says, "Get 'em
interested in ping-pong and tennis. Much less chance of a brain injury
in those." Your brain also is busy, busy, busy. Has over 30 billion working
parts. Has over 100 billion neurons and most of those we have the day
we're born. They will grow and get bigger, but they're there. And so if
there's a brain injury early in life, if there's trauma to that child
early, some of that brain capacity will be lost by injury and we can't get
that back. We know that there are some small areas of the brain where we're
discovering rejuvenation of cells, but not very many places yet. And and
we may discover more, but the bottom line is we have to be very, very careful
with our children from the day we get them and then teach them to be careful
with themselves so that they're careful with the brain that they're going
to need all their life. The impulses in their brain travel very fast.
The slide that you see shows the neuron which is an electrical impulse -
will go through there. It'll jump to this other neuron by a chemical
impulse and then it'll be an electrical impulse again. And those impulses
are moving 170 miles an hour on average. And think about 100 billion neurons
with all their little dendrites moving 170 miles an hour. That's a lot of
messages moving fast and until the brain is completely mature, which
doesn't happen until later in life, it's not completely myelenated
(phonetic) - which means that all of those little neurons, all of these
cells aren't insulated to keep their messages from kind of bumping into each
other. This is really important during adolescence. The kids that
you're working with in your program - part of the reason they seem sometimes
chaotic - um seems like you talk to him about something one day and the
next day they don't even remember that conversation? It's because
those messages aren't moving as smoothly from point A to point B.
They're not getting stored where you'd like them to be but there are so many
messages moving at so much speed - and we'll talk about that a little more
as we go along. When your child is born or a child is born, the brain they
have is about 25 percent of the size it'll be when they're mature. Unlike
many mammals in the world, our brain grows pretty slowly in terms of size.
By the time we're a year old, it's only 50 percent of the size it will
ultimately be when we're an adult. Many animals by this time are considered
adults and are capable of doing everything they need to do and obviously our
children that age still have a long way to go before that's true. At age
10, the brain will be about 95 percent of the size that it will be when
we're adults. Between 10 and 12 or 13, not only is the brain about that size,
but for some kids, their physical side begins to look a lot like an adult.
Our girls begin to develop some and that's happening at earlier and earlier
ages. Our boys begin to physically mature. Their bodies start to change.
Sometimes they start to get a little stubble. The girls begin to develop and
need to wear a bra. So all of a sudden they're kind of looking like adults.
This mistake we make is that we are assuming maybe they are getting to be
close to adults and they are not. Their brain in particular isn't even
close to adult maturity. Size-wise it's close. Maturity-wise there's a
long ways to go and when we're working with kids in programs where we're
asking them to contemplate the future, consider consequences of their
behaviors, to really use problem solving and deep-seated thinking
skills, they're really not there yet. So good adult supervision, good
structure is still so important. So what is the difference between these
two brains in terms of male and female? Well, let's think of some
things. Look at some things. When a baby's conceived, if there's an X
chromosome from mom and an X chromosome from dad, the plan is for a girl.
That's, that's the schematic for female development. If there's an
X from mom and a Y from dad, then we're going to have a boy. From the
moment of conception to about six weeks of age, the dif...there won't be a
difference in how those fetuses develop. The cell division, the kind of
things that are - that are organizing themselves are the same. It's all been
differentiated. But at about six weeks, if there's a Y chromosome,
some certain differences will begin to become apparent in the little
male fetus. One of which will be a message he'll send to his mother's
system to say, "Ah! Y chromosome here. This is going to be a boy. We need
some shots of testosterone." The testosterone he will get
initially, will come from his mother's ovaries. She'll send that
testosterone in response to the message from the Y chromosome and that
testosterone will trigger the little male system because of the y
chromosome to start generating its own testosterone. That
testosterone is the architect of the male body and brain. The differences
are the male body will begin to um to make calcium in a different
way. It'll process calcium differently. It'll build a little bit different bone
structure. It'll build a little bit different muscle structure, the way
the muscles are designed and some other body differences. The way we
process fat will be a little bit different. At the same time it's
processing the body differently, it's going to process the brain
differently. It's going to make a different diagram for a male brain. And
here's what some of those will be. This area on the left hemisphere of the
male brain...based on um looking at the working brain, the brain scans
that we now have available, we know the male verbal centers tend
to be in this area of the brain. This was - this research was looked at
when men were having strokes. And when they would have strokes in this
area, they'd lose their language. They would tend not to get it back and if
they did it was a very long process and generally wouldn't come back as
fully as a woman who had a stroke in this same area. So they started looking at
the male and female brain doing these different kinds of verbal tasks and
then what they discovered was - Ah! The male brain tends to focus in this
area with its verbal processing where the female brain has verbal
processing centers in a variety of areas on both sides of the brain. Six or
seven different areas that tend to focus on verbal processing. So it's no
surprise to us that women tend to use more words every day then men do. Um
If you were all online, I could probably hear some of you chuckling because
this is kind of a known thing to most of us. Now does this mean all women
use more words than men? Again, it's that generalization. Of course
not. We all know some men and some boys who are very, very verbal from the
time that they are old enough to start talking. But in general, women will
tend to use more words. In elementary school it can be as much as four and
five times as many. Um As we move though adolescence, generally
that holds up some. Three-to-one or so. And as we become mature adults,
some of that holds up and sometimes it evens out to about two-to-one. You can
think about your own relationships, the kids that you work with and
adults you know and say, "Oh, does that hold for us?" Maybe so. The other
side of the male brain, the right side - while this verbal processing was
developing - the right side here was developing spatial processing -
mechanical, spatial processing - and this is what the male brain is
extremely good at. This is, we believe, based on some history of the kind
of past that men in our species have done since the beginning of time. Men
were hunters. They needed to be able to process spatial information. How
far away was that critter that they needed to run down? How far did they
have to throw their spear to intersect with that critter at the right time
so they could kill that, drag it back, have meat for their tribe. The
spatial processing was really, really important. If you think about the
adolescent boys and the men that you know now, they're probably not
having to hunt to put food on the table. Although in a few parts of our
country, people still do that. But these guys in general are not having to
do that. But they are doing things that are very similar. One of the
reasons boys really respond more to video games and the research
shows us 10- or 12-to-1 they play video games more than girls. Part of it is
this spatial mechanical wiring. This brain likes that kind of thing. It
responds to it. It wants to be good at it. That's why boys will over and
over again play a video game until they get better and better at it and can
conquer it, so to speak. Um, the visual environment of the screen it's like
hunting in visual space. The other great thing and especially for adolescent
boys about playing video games which is responding to the spatialness of
their brains is that you can lose and nobody knows. You can do it by yourself.
You don't have to spend a lot of time talking to it. You can interact. You can
start over if you need to and after three or four times, you can master that
piece and move on to the next. When we work with teachers, we ask them,
"How many chances do you give boys to pass the test?" If they had three
or four chances to try it, they could master the material. But sometimes
the grade is going to be based on the first shot which they may not be as
good at because it's more verbally based. So it's important to keep in mind.
The visual spatial piece is more prominent in the male brain. Do girls have
visual spatial processing? Absolutely. Is it their primary way of dealing
with things? Not really. In school initially and interaction with people
initially, verbal is the first thing we ask for from kids and that's
easier for girls because of add - those extra verbal processing areas.
These are the kind of things boys do in today world. They play sports.
They drive cars. They play video games, building on that spatial awareness.
With girls, the verbal awareness that we have, the more peripheral senses
that we have, we tend to hear better out of both ears. We tend to see
better out of both eyes. We process more sensory information. And again, if
we look back at what the men were doing, they were hunting and women were
caring for children, caring for the elderly, making sure the fire
didn't go out, um, choosing the right berries and roots - were they - is
this the right color? Is it ripe? Does it smell correct? Is this the one
we're supposed to eat? So we developed the skills we needed to do our part in
keeping our tribe alive. Some other parts of the brain that tend to be
different in males and female: um Your black arrow is pointing to part
of the brain called the corpus colosum (phonetic). The corpus colosum is like
the exchange box in the brain. It connects the left and right hemispheres
with a mass of neurons. In the female brain that can be up to 20 percent more
dense meaning there's, there's more neurons in that area collecting -
connecting the left and right sides. Which means the female brain tends to
communicate faster between areas in the left and right hemisphere. The male
brain tends to be more task-focused and as one researcher has put it,
"The male brain sort of lives in boxes. There's a box here for talking.
There's a box here for doing. There's a box here for fixing. There's a box
for each thing and males like to go to that box and not have it bump up
against the other ones." For the female brain, it's more like a ball of yarn.
It's kind of all connected together and we sort of bounce back and forth from
one to another more quickly. So we multitask. Again, if you think from a
developmental standpoint, we were doing more things that we had to do at the
same time. If you're cooking the meal or doing something in your
environment, you're also listening for children. You're listening for being
needed, so you're building those skills better and those are the skills that
help you survive and this corpus colosum has a lot to do with that. The
limbic (phonetic) system in your brain which is like your feeling center,
deep in your brain, and two pieces of that are the amygdala (phonetic) and
the hippocampus where the orange and red arrows point. A really important
point when you're working with adolescents is that the amygdala is a little
almond-shaped organ that is the only part of your brain that is mature the
day you're born. What it does is process emotional memories. Fear and anger
most especially. So for children who experience trauma, um for children
who are abused or neglected, and when bad things happen to children
who aren't old enough yet to tell us about them or to be able to remember the
incident, they can remember how it felt. And it will tag that memory so
that if something happens later in life, we may be apt to respond to that
with this tag. Being angry, being fearful. And you know, you work with
kids who sometimes - you just look at 'em wrong or say the wrong word and you
didn't even know you did and they respond in a really tumultuous way, you
say, "Wow. I don't know what button I hit?" You may have hit this amygdale
button to some memory that's - that's back there in time which the kids
can't explain to you or tell you why they feel the way they do but they
respond to it emotionally. And that, and that can happen all through life
then. The hippocampus is kind of like your administrative assistant
in your brain. When you're administering your program to the kids and say you're
doing it over the course of a semester, over the course of a number of
weeks, and you're giving them information you really want them to
remember, important and you're building one piece of information on the
other and they don't seem to remember. Part of it can be because their
hippocampus has been overwhelmed. They're in school all day. They're
taking in lots and lots of information. They're getting lots and lots of
input from the family and from other adults. Then they're getting input from
your program. And it's the hippocampus's job to file that information in the
appropriate places so the kids can find it when they need it the next time. So
you can add on to it as your program progresses. And if the hippocampus
gets overwhelmed, it sort of just takes a lunch break and leaves
everything sitting there, doesn't get it filed. So the next time you meet
with the kids and you'll say, "Okay. Let's talk about what we were
discussing last time" and they can't remember? And you're thinking, "Wow.
They weren't even listening..." They may well have been listening,
but their hippocampus may not have been in a position - their
memory-storage system - may not have gotten it from that working memory
which was happening as you were discussing it to their prominent memory
which is where they'll find it next time when you, when you say, "Okay.
What do you remember about this?" And they say, "Oh, yeah. We talked about that
and about this and about that." They just can't find it and there are some
things we can do to try to promote memory and we'll talk about those later.
The cingulate gyrus (phonetic) which your green is pointing to the
area where it would be - it's not pointing exactly to it - but that's where
it would be is what we might call the instant replay of the brain. Much
more active in the female brain and it's the thing that causes girls to hang
on to things, to hold grudges, to hold hurt feelings much longer than
boys tend to do. Boys can have an argument. They can even come to - to blows.
Later, they can forget all about it and go play basketball. Where the
girls will be still talking about it at their class reunion ten years
later. We just tend to not forget and sometimes the singulate gyrus is the
problem. What we would want to talk to the girls about and especially girls
in your program is that as they are taking in some negative thoughts, we tell
them, "Think of those thoughts as ANTs in your brain. Automatic Negative
Thoughts. And how can you get rid of 'em? Because you don't have to believe
every thought you have 'cause they're not all true." And we'll talk some
more about that later also. The frontal cortex where the blue arrow
points - if you put your hand on your forehead, and you were pretending like
you were an adolescent, in the throes of brain development and body
development and assuming that your brain was completely mature you
would touch your forehead and it would feel really hot 'cause that area was
done cooking? For adolescents, you'd put your hand there and it
would be ice cold. The front lobe of the brain, the frontal cortex part
where we make our executive decisions, where we think about the future,
where we say, "What will be the consequences of these actions?" Is not yet
fully developed during adolescence. Doesn't happen until much later.
In girls, the brain's full maturity is believed to happen probably in the
early 20s. For boys it can be as late as 30. Now does that mean there are no
mature kids who are late adolescents or early in their 20s? Not at all.
What it means is our expectations have to be appropriate for the
developmental place the kids are in terms of how much we are expecting them
to really take in and process in the way of future expectations and
consequences. And certainly in the programs that you're working with,
the consequences of behavior can be really serious and it's important
to know why they need so much external support and good structure for that
because it's not going to happen on its own for most kids. There's additional
differences in the brain and if our little beaker was...was animated, it
would be pouring chemicals into this brain and one of those chemicals would be
cortisol. Cortisols are stress hormones. When our stress level goes up, our
cortisol level increases and when cortisol increases, it shuts down
the pathways to learning. For teachers in the classroom, this means if
kids come in really stressed, teaching them biology or teaching them
algebra or teaching them Shakespeare is not going to be very effective
because those other pathways are closed. The higher the stress, the
more they're closed and when stress levels are up, cortisol levels escalated,
they can stay up as long as 24 hours or more. Especially if additional
stress gets added. So for teenagers especially in today's world, there's a
tremendous amount of stress from all directions. So their
stress level tends to be elevated even when it's at its baseline. My
colleague, Michael, says, "It's just that we have elevated the average
stress level so much now that kids are pretty much always stressed." There's
a chronic stress syndrome that affects many of our children and when they
test on this, they find that children are the largest group of people
who are suffering from chronic stress. So we talk to parents and we talk to
programs and we talk to teachers about how do we minimize stress to help
kids get this cortisol under control and we'll talk about that some more.
Another, um, chemical is dopamine. Dopamine's a neural transmitter. It's
called the "feel good" neural transmitter. It's what you get a high of
when something great happens or something a little bit scary or edgy.
When you ride a roller coaster and you come off and you say, "Wow. Let's
do that again." Your dopamine has increased and it has found its way into
each of those little connections of your neurons and it makes you
feel great and you'd like to feel that way again. Teenagers have more of
these receptors because their brains during adolescence, during
puberty, when all of their hormones are flooding their brain and body? They
have huge growth in the brain so they have tremendous amounts of
neurotransmitters going into many, many more receptors. So they feel
great more than we do as our brain matures. So if they're using drugs,
they're more prone to become addicted because they have more places for
the drugs to attack. If they use alcohol, they're more prone to become
addicted and have alcoholism issues. People don't start drinking until
age 21 or later have a significantly decreased prob - probability of ever
becoming an alcoholic because they have fewer places for the addiction
to take hold. This is important information for kids to have. It isn't
just that we don't want you to drink because we're the adults and we make the
rules. It's because from a health standpoint and a development standpoint, we
know that for the long-term health of your body and your brain,
waiting'd be a really good idea. So that's what dopamine does. It gives us
that great feeling. For the kids you work with who have resources, whose
families can provide them with opportunities - in Colorado our kids go
skiing. If you're on the coast, your kids may go surfing or they may get to
swim a lot. Um Kids everywhere do some skateboarding. They ride
roller coasters. They get to do things that are a little edgy but have a
safe component around them. Kids who don't have that? Those resources?
Kids that don't have access to those things don't get to do those
things and they find their thrill another way because they need this dopamine,
too. Serotonin is the opposite. Serotonin is what calms us back down
and what we want is for kids to process more serotonin to bring 'em
down to an even level. The female brain processes serotonin much more
efficiently than males. They - males have more serotonin. They just don't
process it as well. So when the boys get up from their dopamine, when they
get that rush, it's harder for them to come back down. Oxytosin is a
chemical that it's good for girls to know about particularly because it's
called the "tend and befriend" hormone. What it does is is it gives us
this feeling of being connected and being bonded. Women who are
pregnant get increased amounts of oxytosin. When we nurse we get increased
amounts of oxytosin which bonds us to our infant in normal circumstances. Male
oxytosin levels are significantly lower all the time except when kids
have sex or when adults have sex. Oxytosin levels in males and females tend
to both escalate when they have sex. So boys'll say, "I love you. I want to
take you to the prom." You know. "I'm your boyfriend forever" while his
oxytosin is up because this chemical is making him want to bond. But his
chemical's going to drop down. Sometimes that de-escalation starts
within the hour. For girls, oxytosin levels will remain high because
they are higher so she thinks they're bonded and he wants to go play
basketball. Doesn't make him a bad guy. It means there's a chemical
reaction in the female system that is not as present in the male
system. And when young people don't know this, they assume it's all about
feelings and it's all about emotions and it's all about the kind of
person you are. And when they have this information they can know it's not
just about the kind of person you are. It's also about what your biology
leads you to do and you can control that if you know about it. So we give
kids good information, they can make better decisions. The scans that
we have show the male brain at rest and the female brain at rest and
this just builds on all that information we have about...the male brain at
rest is much less active than the female brain. Goes back to that whole
multitasking piece. So this means if you're wanting to engage your
boys in content with your program and it's boring - if it's lecture format, if
it's not interactive - if they don't perceive it as being really relevant -
this brain that you're looking at where it says "Male Brain" - that's how
much activity you'll be getting if they get bored. And when they get bored
and disengaged and go to a rest state, it's really hard to get 'em back. And
in that rest state the information won't get through. The female brain
is different because even if the girls are bored, they'll hang with you a
lot longer. They'll stick around 'cause maybe you're going to say something.
Remember that...that oxytosin drives them to want to...to be taking
care of and nurturing their relationships with the adults and with their
peers also. So we have some advantage there with the girl's brain being
more active even at rest. Means we have to design our programs differently
for girls and boys. About 20 percent of males and females are what Michael
calls a "bridge brain" meaning that - that they're male or they're
female. It's not about that. It's about how does our brain process
information and about 20 percent of us fall right in the middle which means
that the male who might uh teach kindergarten or first grade who might be
more interested in verbal and emotive things - it might be a female who's
really interested in math and engineering and science. Women who are
lawyers tend to be bridge brain. And what this relates to is the amount
of testosterone in our systems which promote that visual spatial as opposed
to verbal emotional processing. This is a website you can go to if
you want to check where you fall on that. Uh, the Web site's been around a
long time. They've done over a million different scans - or different of
these tests. If you go to that website and in the search box type "sex ID" -
don't go to Google and type "sex ID" because you'll get to a whole
different place. But go to this website and type this in. It'll pop up a quiz, a
test with four different sections and after it's over, it'll give you the
results of that. This is a great thing to use with older adolescents. With
younger kids, they're still, you know, kind of in that twilight zone of
not knowing who they are so sometimes this is not as effective for them. But
for the older kids, it's good for them to see because then they can say,
"Wow! I process more verbally. So using verbal processing in my
communications will be more helpful to me." Or, "I process more visually
and spatially, so that kind of processing - that kind of program will help
me more." Give the kids some ideas of what they need. Diet has a big
impact on our brain and how healthy it is for both boys and girls. Um Some
food constricts blood flow to the brain. Caffeine is one of those. If you're
like me, I love my coffee in the morning, but because of this research,
I try really hard to limit my coffee. I don't drink it at any other time of
the day. I drink a couple cups, occasionally three because what we want -
especially for young people when they're in learning mode - we want as
much blood flow as possible in their brain. The blood is carrying the
nutrients, the proteins, the oxygen they need for the brain to work
efficiently. If the kids are stopping on their way to school to get a jolt or
a Pepsi with added caffeine or, you know, something from Starbucks,
they're really limiting their ability to learn while that caffeine is in
their system. It's like any other drug, it has an impact. Too many
carbohydrates make the brain groggy. So if kids are eating only toast and
cereal for breakfast, that doesn't help either. So what difference does the
difference make? Some of the early differences so that we can build on these
as we talk later is that at birth, the cortex develops more rapidly in
girls so they develop language more quickly. They process serotonin
better so they're not quite as active usually - um even in utero. And you
can think about that with your own kids or with people you know who have
had children. Did their baby boys and girls move as much in the womb? Um,
they have better peripheral vision. Again, we talked about that. They
hear equally well out of both ears and they have equal visual skills with
either eye. The eyes are quite different in males and females and research
has shown us that. They're more interested in spaces than things. If you have a
mobile over their bed and you come to the side of the crib to talk to the
baby, a girl baby will shift her field of vision much more quickly than a
male baby will and leave it longer on the face than on the thing. Girls have
more finely developed fine motor skills early on. When they start
kindergarten at four or five, they're much better prepared based on their
fine motor skill development to hold a pencil and write. They
prefer soft, cuddly things and that has to do with our, our more - we have
about 35 percent more receptors in our skin to feel tactile things. So we
just enjoy the feel of things more. And by age three, usually we can
understand about 99 percent of speech coming from girls. For boys it
comes a little later. The differences for boys are that there's a higher
incidence of prenatal and birth complications. The Y chromosome seems to bring
with it some fragility that we don't think about when we look at the men in
our world and our boys and we think they're tough and rough and tumble and
strong. But the Y chromosome really in some ways makes them
biologically more fragile. Um Twenty-five percent higher infant mortality
rate, especially with preemies. And they're more vigorous in...in
utero...move around more. They're more interested in objects than faces. Those
boys will look at the mobile. They make peek over to see who that is
hanging over the side of the bed, but then they're going to go back to
looking at their mobile because again that, that spatial mechanical part of
their brain makes them interested in objects moving through space. They
have better depth perception. That's that distance that they needed
to be able to look and see when they were hunting. We believe that's where that
comes from. They're less bothered by loud noises. Girls tend to respond with
a more of a startled re-...response to loud noises. They hear better
in their right ear in general and their left eye tends to be dominant.
Whether they're left- or right- handed doesn't make a difference. They have
more developed gross motor skills. While the girls have the fine motor skills
for the pencil and learning to write, the boys have the better
developed gross motor skills because they have more spinal fluid
connecting their brain and body so they tend to move more as they learn. Um,
they get more broken bones as children and that's because they take more
risks. They climb more trees. They go faster. They're just more willing
to - to do risky behaviors so they're more physically active. They speak their
first words later than girls and as we said, girls are usually by age
three you can understand them. For boys sometimes it takes until about age
four, four-and-a-half. So they're at a somewhat different place when they
start school in terms of the amount of vocabulary, their ability to write.
The boys'll catch up but when they start at different places and we
put stress on them to do things like learn to read and write, to sit still
and be quiet, it puts the boys at somewhat of a disadvantage for a while.
So the unique and bizarre land of adolescence which we'll talk a lot more
about in the next, uh, web - webinar. Boys as they hit puberty and generally
boys are hitting puberty a year-and-a-half or two later than girls. What our
science is showing us now is that girls are hitting puberty some as young as
third and fourth grade. Tremendous body changes happen and when you begin
to see the outward signs of puberty in the girls and the boys, that's your
signal that inward signs of change are also occurring. The brain is
beginning to change. The testosterone that boys got in utero that set them up
as a male brain will now get added to seven to ten times a day as the
testosterone surges through their system, develops their body
physically, their - they become more sexually mature. And for the boys,
the biological imperative is different than it is for girls during this
time. Uh The testosterones imperative for the boys is to go forth and multiply.
That's what it is saying to their body. They're ready to reproduce. Now we
don't want 'em reproducing at this age and that's one reason programs like yours
are important. Because we want them to abstain from that behavior. But they're
in conflict with their biology and if you think about the life expectancy
that our species used to have - that humans used to have, beginning to
reproduce as an early teenager wasn't out of line because you only
lived to your mid-twenties. So in order for our - our line to pass
on, we were reproducing earlier. Well our average life expectancy now is
what? Seventy-seven, seventy-eight? We don't need to be reproducing
earlier to make sure we're still here, but our biology evolved at a much
slower pace than our society. So our kids need some help because the
biology is saying do one thing and their ship out there, their cultural
roles, the norms, the things we want them to know about the world and
how it works in their best interest is that - No, that's probably not such a
good idea. But the boys don't know that. The girl's biology is sending
her a different signal. The signal it's sending her is, Find a mate who
has the best potential genetic material to create the potential child with
the best rate of survival. Because genetically and, and historically that is
what we needed was to have the best species to go on. And a lot of times people
will say, "Well, why did the girls choose the bad boys?" Well, maybe the bad
boys look a bit like strong warriors. They tend to be more aggressive.
They tend to be at least acting like they're more sure of themselves. They
tend to put themselves in the forefront. They tend to be the heroes. Often
times they're our sports leaders and things like that. And girls are drawn
to them because it appears that they're strong and might provide the best,
um, genetic information for a child. This is all happening to these kids at
a time when we do not want them even thinking about this. We want them
thinking about school and we want them thinking about their future and we
want them thinking about the context within which all this revolves. And
their biology is fighting against them. So they're not bad kids. They're just
getting mixed messages and without good, solid um cultural foundations,
moral foundation, good character development - things like abstinence
programs that can really help them understand what's really going on -
they need good information. Many times folks'll say, "Well, kids
can't make good decisions." And often that's because they don't
have good information. Um My experience with our program was that when you
start to give the kids information, they might giggle a little at first,
but then they would take notes and then they would listen carefully and they
would ask good questions. And the better the information they got about
making decisions, the better decisions we found they would make. I'm sure
you found the same with the kids you work with. Some of the things we need
to do is really answer their questions. When they ask us questions, we need
to provide them with information because they need that information from
adults that they trust, that they respect. Because if they don't find it from
adults they trust and respect, they'll find it from each other. And none
of them have the right information. Sometimes you can get it out of a book
but in general, you can't. You need to get that from...from the adults in
your world that have shown you that they can be trusted who will give you
honest answers with respect. Because then they'll ask us the
questions they really need the answers to. And I believe we have some time
for questions. Jon? JON: Thanks, Kathy. That's great and we do so I'll
open it up to questions or comments. Remember to ask a question or make a
comment you'll need to press star seven to un-mute your line. Once
your question has been answered, please press star six to mute your line
again. When you ask a question, please identify who you are and where you
are from. All right. Who has the first question or comment? PAULENE: Kathy,
this is Pauline Ocanamon (phonetic) with First Choice Clinic in Fargo,
North Dakota. KATHY: Hi. PAULENE: Thank you for your information. I'm
curious to - um, understand what is the cause of young people
going into puberty at an earlier age today. KATHY: That's a really good
question and we don't know. The answer is we don't know. There are -
there's a lot of speculation. Um, some scientists believe that
there are some environmental factors affecting it. That it's
hormones in our foods and hormones in our milk and - but they don't know that
for sure? Um Some think that it's plastics and we seem to think it's
plastics a lot of times when we don't know what else it is. There is some
belief and there is some research to support that for girls particularly who
are being raised in environments where the father figure in the
family is not biologically related to them - so if you have like a stepdad,
even - a great guy, good stepdad, good role model, but he is not biologically
related to the girl, that there is a biological pheromone disconnect that
can cause her system to trigger puberty earlier. And there is some research
on that. We have several articles. If you're interested and you email
me, I'll email you the links for those to take a look at. You know, but the
short answer is we really don't know. We think it's probably a number of
things. Um, some researchers have said, "Well, it's because our -
our food is healthier today. Kids are getting better nutrition. They're
getting better healthcare so their bodies are maturing more easily. I -
I don't know. I think we'll probably find out more about that as we go
along. Um, but it's not necessarily a good thing because kids are entering
a physical period that they are not at all psychologically and
socially ready for. JON: Great. Next question? DARLA: Hello? KATHY:
Hello. You're there... DARLA: Okay. Um, I'm Darla from the um, Christian
Care Center in Florida. Um I want to go back to the point you were making
about the addiction... KATHY: Uh, hum. DARLA: ...because there's more
dopamine? KATHY: Yes. DARLA: And what other things besides um alcohol
and drugs could they be addicted to? Could sex be one of the addictions? Or
could there be other things? KATHY: um I think sex could easily be one of
those addictions. Because what you want to think about is, "How good does
that make you feel?" DARLA: Uh, hum. KATHY: And for some people depending
on...when - when kids enter puberty and their brain begins this massive
growth, some of the research says that we can double the gray matter in
our brain - which is the thinking part of our matter - in a year's time.
Which means that all of those um neurons for gray matter will have more and
more and more dendrites. So it's like instead of having one cable
connecting you to something, you might have 150 cables connecting you
to something. And all those cables have the capacity to respond to
that dopamine and feel good. So if having sexual activity is the thing that
gives you that good feeling, what it makes you want is more of that. You
might be addicted to video games. I mean we have programs now to help kids
get un-addicted to video games. Anything that gives you this dopamine-type of
response in your brain - and it could be sex. It could be drugs. It could
be alcohol. Could be video games. Um It could be a hobby. I mean you've known
kids who were addicted to a game or addicted to an activity. If that - if we
get the "dopamine rush" as I call it, from that activity, that makes us
want to do that more and more and more. So I think absolutely - sex could be
one of those things. And it's a bad time to get addicted to that because
the addiction can be so much stronger because of the - the massive brain
growth and the massive potential for connection. DARLA: Thank you. KATHY:
You're welcome. JON: Kathy, I'd like to throw in there, too - this is
Jon - that that would include like pornography and this easy access that
kids have to all these different things on the Internet, right? KATHY:
Abso- Anything. When you respond to that thing, and if you - if you somehow
programmed yourself - or your initial response to anything including
pornography, is very pleasurable for you. You're going to get that
dopamine kick 'cause your brain doesn't know the difference. It doesn't
know the difference between uh, uh, skiing down a really cool
mountain and getting a thrill or looking at some pornography and getting a
thrill. All it knows is there's a physical reaction within the brain.
And whatever you physically react to that way, it will want more of.
So the potential with this is that you could actually be addicted to just about
anything. JON: That makes it really difficult then for these kids that - I
mean, they're not mature and they're - they have to make these decisions when
they're, when they're uh, exposed to the Internet and all these things that
didn't used to happen... KATHY: Absolutely. JON: ...especially if there's
no adult supervision. KATHY: And, and when we do parent programs and we do
education sessions for parents, we say, "Your television, your
computers, any of those kind of things need to be in a community part of the
house that you have easy access to the times when your children are using
them. Because how can you monitor what they're doing if they're - pri - you
know, doing it in the privacy of their rooms? And parents'll say, "Well,
but it's his TV." But it's your house. JON: And he's not mature enough to do
that, right? KATHY: He's not mature enough to make all those decisions and
you want to keep him safe and that's your job. It's not for him to like you. I
mean you'd like him to like you, but you need them to respect you and
you need them to trust you. And the thing you have to trust...they have
to trust you with is you can keep them safe because that's your job as a
parent. And keeping them safe means monitoring their access to things
that might not be safe. JON: Makes a lot of sense to me. Next question?
Comment? CAROL: Hello? JOHN: Yes. CAROL: This is Carol, uh Adler (phonetic)
from Healthy Visions in Cincinnati. You were saying before that your
brain had 30 billion working parts. How many neurons did you say they -
it had? KATHY: Well, what they - what they think, they actually - the
scientists can't agree. CAROL: Okay. KATHY: But the usual number they land
on is 100 billion. CAROL: For the neurons... KATHY: For the number of neurons.
CAROL: Okay. KATHY: Most of which we have when we're born. CAROL: Okay.
KATHY: They grow and get bigger, but we have most of the neurons we'll have,
most of the nerve cells in our brain that - when we're born. CAROL: Okay.
KATHY: And that's a lot of neurons. CAROL: Okay. KATHY: A lot of potential.
CAROL: Okay. So when you were saying before that the dopamine has more
places to attach to before the age of 21? I was...I'm a little unclear about the
addiction thing... KATHY: Okay. Think about it this way. That up until you hit
puberty, your body's going along, developing and you're maturing physically
some and your brain's growing but when you hit puberty - puberty is to
prepare your body to be an adult. It's to prepare your brain for things it
didn't need to do when you were younger. And so part of the growth that happens
is you get these huge massive, um, amounts of hormones. In, in boys it's
mainly testosterone although they get a little progesterone and estrogen.
Girls get 32 or 33 different hormones and a little bit of
testosterone. But as we're getting those hormones, it's changing the growth
pattern. And in our brain what it's doing is it's causing some massive
growth so that really adolescence is the second best time in our life to
learn something. When you're dealing with young adolescents and into their
puberty period, that's the best time for them to take in new information because
each neuron has the potential to grow many, many more dendrites which
is an...an extra piece of the neuron - each piece of that neuron is like an
information machine to take in information and to connect to other neurons.
It's like the brain is going to build roads during puberty. And those
are the roads that your brain is going to travel for the rest of your life.
To process information, to respond to things, to learn, to access things
you have learned. Those roads are really important and during adolescence you
have the potential to build many, many, many more roads. Which means
alcohol can travel all those extra roads. Toward the end of puberty as the
brain starts to calm down and we start to get some balance around our
hormones and we fall into our adult cycle of those, what the brain will do is
go through and say, "Okay. All of the dendrites, all of those connections we
didn't need - that we didn't connect? It will prune away." They die off.
So there are few - there's fewer ways to build the roads. So if you start
using alcohol later, there's not as many roads for it to travel to parts
of your brain for you to become addicted. Does that make sense? CAROL: Okay.
KATHY: Does that help? CAROL: Some. Yeah. KATHY: Yeah, and so once that...
(BOTH CAROL AND KATHY TALKING AT ONCE) CAROL: ...a day to process
this... (LAUGHING) KATHY: Yeah. Well, it is and, and, and - and think of
it. If it's hard for us, imagine how hard it is for the kids. But there's some
really good resources and we can talk about those next time - some resources
that you can use with the kids to help them understand this concept.
Because I think once they do understand it and say, "Wow. The potential during
this time for me to do great things is so intense that I want to minimize
the bad things I do because I want to maximize my potential for doing
great things." And maybe the great thing is to learn to drive a car. The
great thing is to be a good outside receiver. You know, the great thing is
to be a good dancer. We want to really use the things that kids love that
they can think about today and tomorrow because they're not thinking about
30 years from now. To show them that taking care of yourself and taking care
of your brain and taking care of your body and making good decisions is
the way to become successful at those things that right now you believe
spell success. And to avoid at all cost those things that could keep you
from being successful. Does - is that helpful? CAROL: Uh, hum. Uh, hum.
KATHY: Good. CAROL: Uh, hum. Thanks. KATHY: You're welcome. JON: Kathy, I'd
like to call your attention to the screen. There's a question on
there that you should... KATHY: I saw that... JON: Okay. Great. KATHY: Okay.
Is - is this the one you're looking at? The - Is there anything in brain
chemistry? JON: Yes. KATHY: For example, decreased fetal
testosterone that would result in homosexuality? Um, that is not what the
research shows. What the research shows at this point is that there are a
number of places in the brain where there's some genetic difference in how
the brain is designed. Whether that is the direct result of decreased
testosterone or something else - they really don't know yet. But there are
some markers that are dissimilar in a gay person's brain. For
instance, there are some markers in a gay male brain that are closer to
the way a female brain is designed. And vice versa. I am not an expert on this
so I can't really speak to it. But what I know is there's a lot of research
going on in this area and I think we're going to know more in the next
decade. But then we're going to know more about all of our brains in the
next decade and how they're wired. And we don't always know what the
causation is. We may be able to look at something, um - for instance, we look
at where the male verbal center tends to be focused and we say, "Ah. We
believe the result of this is that boys use less words, that they're less
prepared when they start school and based on what we see in the classroom
and our, our quantitative research, we think - from a theoretically
standpoint, we believe that's the causation. Are the scientists as ready to
sign off on that? Probably not. Because they need more scientific evidence.
So we continue to learn and we continue to grow in our knowledge. Um, so
that's an area that's really - there's a lot of questions about it still
and I don't have the answer to that. JON: That's okay. Thank you
very much. Next question. KRISTIN: Hey, Kathy. This is Kristin from the
Women's Care Center. I have a question in regards to the "20 percent of the
bridge brain"... KATHY: Uh, hum. KRISTIN: ...that you mentioned. KATHY:
Right. KRISTIN: Is there a reason why it's 20 percent? Or why that
bridge exists? KATHY: Well, I don't know. There's - we know it's
about 20 percent because they've done a lot of testing. Um A fellow named
Simon Baron-Cohen wrote a book called "The Essential Difference" which you
might find really interesting if this area interests you. Um And just
based on how they look at the amount of testosterone and the amounts of wiring
in terms of spatial and verbal wiring, we know that - for instance,
female prosecuting attorneys tend to have the highest testosterone
levels of any female. They're still female. It's not a question of are they
male or female. They're still female. Because male and female testosterone
levels never overlap. Women with the highest testosterone levels are
still significantly lower than men with the lowest testosterone levels
because testosterone's just - it's a male hormone. But we know that
women - female prosecuting attorneys tend to have higher testosterone
levels, tend to be more bridge-brained because they do more of that
spatial mechanical thinking in the work that they do. And it would make
sense if you think that they work in an environment that's very
competitive. You know, they're trying to win. They use a lot of coded
language which the male brain tends to be more in tune with. Uh, um, there's
some really good information on that, particularly in
Baron-Cohen's book and some others and I'll make myself a note to have a
little more information about that next time for you, too. Do we have time
for any more questions, Jon? JON: Yes. Next question or comment?
KATHY: Oh! There's a...there's a question on the board. Can we respond
to that one? JON: Go ahead. Take that one. KATHY: Comment on the
recent news item where 100 college presidents recommended reducing the
legal age of drinking from 21 to 18. It's a really, really bad idea. And
anybody who looks at this research - and that isn't just us looking at this.
This is people everywhere who can look at this research - that we know
from a developmental standpoint, it's very dangerous to let kids
drink when they're younger. And his - the concerns of these folks is
that, "Well, this will stop binge drinking." If kids are drinking now at
18 and it's not legal till 21, then if it's legal at 18, it just probably means
we'll have more kids at 15 and 16 drinking because they're trying to scoot
around the rules. That's part of what adolescence does for us is it causes
us to challenge the rules, to push the limit, to see where we can go. And we
just know, we know the research is very clear that if kids don't drink
until they're 21, the preponderance of addiction to alcohol is
significantly reduced. So from a scientific standpoint, a
research-based standpoint, it's a terrible idea. JON: Okay. That's good
feedback. There's another question there, too. Do you want to take that one?
KATHY: Is this about - uh let's see where - uh is this about the 300
trillion connecting dendrites that must prune down to 100 trillion? Um
Tamera is that - Tamera, I don't know. Um, I don't know those exact numbers.
I know that the pruning process has to happen. It gets - gets - gets rid of
the connections we don't need that we haven't used. I know it has to prune for
the brain to become more efficient. Because the energy then that the brain
uses goes into those connections that we've made, not wasted on the
ones we didn't. Whether those are the exact numbers? No. I do not
know. (PAPERS RUSTLING) But I'll make myself a note and see if I can find
that out for you next time. JON: Okay. I can answer that other
question. The PowerPoint will be accessible on a web, um, site next week
probably. Okay? Plus the recording. Um We're able to get them up pretty
quickly anymore so it'll probably be some time next week. And also Richard
Panzer, um I saw that you started a question. I'm not sure - did you have -
I only saw part of it show up on the screen. Do you have a question you'd like
to ask? RICHARD: Yeah. I - I - I just had a question about the issue of
same-sex attraction. Um, I mean, Kathy commented a little bit about that
but...you know, a lot of the schools, this issue is being asked. KATHY: Yeah.
Asked in what context? RICHARD: Well, the, I mean we've - we've seen
actually some of the schools are saying there's an increase in uh, you
know, lesbian girl behavior and uh, I don't know if this even relates
directly to brain development. It may just be a cultural soc-...?
KATHY: Yeah. It's - I don't know that it really relates directly either to
what we're talking about here. Um, but again, if we think about the lighthouse
and you think about the ship, culture does have a lot of impact. RICHARD:
Right. KATHY: And - and one of the issues we deal with when we're working
with adolescents - and in our abstinence program, we work with girls -
predominantly girls from 8th through 12th grade. And what we found is those
kids are trying on a lot of different things. And particularly girls who are
quote-unquote at risk which I think all kids are at some point. But for the
kids who are trying out things - to try to get out of that, that dissonance
in their life, they may try out a lot of different kind of things. And girls
who are oxytosin-driven who are trying to, to establish and maintain
relationships often times our relationships with our female friends can be
very, very powerful and give us a lot of that feedback that we need
because the boys aren't as driven with oxytosin. And, and girls will often, even
in relationships with boys, and this goes into adulthood, oxytosin can be
the kind of compelling um thing that gets us into bad habits of trying to
maintain relationships that aren't even good for us. RICHARD: Uh, hum.
KATHY: And we see that in women who are abused and in women who are in one
bad relationship after another. Whether or not this has an impact on kids
quote-unquote trying out a variety of kinds of relationships during
adolescence? It well could. Again, that's not my area of expertise so I
don't want to say too much about it but I - I do know that teenagers are in, in
a real identity crisis mode often regardless of what their ultimate place
they'll land will be. Um, lots of kids are asking lots of questions from
that time like "Who am I?" and, "Where do I fit?" And if they don't find a place
to fit and if they don't get good answers to their questions, again, they'll
struggle with each other to try find the answers. And then it's sort of like
the blind leading the blind. RICHARD: Hm. KATHY: I don't know if that's
helpful... RICHARD. No. Yeah, it is. Thank you. KATHY: Good. There's a
question up here that says, "What does the research say is the best
approach to help those in their early 20s who have formed addictions in their
teenage years?" Um, there is some good - good therapy available in terms
of giving kids - again, giving kids good information. Daniel Amen,
who's a neuro-psychiatrist (phonetic) with some clinic in California and
Seattle and a couple on the East Coast, works a lot with teenagers and he
has this video and I will have this information for you the next time, but the
video is called "Which Brain Do You Want?" And he works with kids in their
late teens who have been addicted to substances and does brain scans with them
and shows them the impact on their brain of the behaviors they've been
participating in and that can be pretty powerful. Um It shows the holes in
their brains which aren't real holes, but they're processing where the
blood's not flowing and not processing the way it would have had they not uh
become addicted to substances be it alcohol or drugs. And I think
that, again, it can be very powerful to give kids the information because
then they say, "Wow. What can I do about this?" Well, first you can stop
doing the thing you're doing that's causing the problem. And then use
therapy, use groups. Again, have good - adult role models are so
significant in helping kids change behavior because they're looking
for someone they can trust who can show them how to be safe. And once they can
establish those trusting relationships, that person can have a powerful
impact. The peer group can help or hinder depending upon the peer group they
get into. But it's a lot harder to cure an addiction than it is to
try to avoid one. So in my mind, we're better off giving kids information as
early - and just saying "No" isn't the information they need because then
that just sets up another opportunity for them to say, "Well, the big guy
said 'No' so let's see how we can get around that." But to say to them, "Part
of the reason you don't want to do this is because look what it will do to
your brain and it will keep you from doing the thing it is you want to
do. And so how can you avoid that?" Amen also has a really good curriculum
that can be used in high school - with high school students and I've used it
with middle school students um called "Making a Good Brain Great" which
is a 12-week curriculum that can be blended with other curriculums. You
might be able to build pieces of it into your program, which gives kids
some of the information we've talked about today and shows them how to by
diet, by exercise, by changing their thinking patterns, by evaluating
relationships that they can make changes for themselves that will make
them healthier. Now the thing you can't do - please don't go back to
the kids you're working with and say, "Well, now things will be better when
your brain is mature." Because the last thing you want to say to a teenager
who's idealistic and is looking for respret (SIC) - respect is, "Well,
you're not mature in your brain yet." What you want to say to them is, "You
have this marvelous brain that is growing and learning and it's going to
be something great one of these days. And everything that you're doing is
moving it in the direction of being as great as it's possible for it to be." So
just be careful how you share the information. Share it in a way that's
respectful and - and takes into account who these kids are and how fragile
they can be sometimes in their - their whole area of self-esteem and
self-image. MAN'S VOICE: What is the full name of that uh, that person who
gave that... KATHY: Daniel Amen - A-M-E-N. And he has a website that's Amen
Clinics A-M-E-Nclinics.com. He does a lot of work with
kids who suffer from ADHD. Uh, from brain injury, from trauma and from
substance abuse. MAN'S VOICE: Thank you. KATHY: You're welcome. JOHN:
Okay. Next question...or comment. KATHY: Well, we've got another question
on the board here. "How often is it important for teens to hear this
information in order for it to stick? The health educator - we're allowed
in the school system about six days a year. Other than that, they never hear
about this." Well, general research says to us, "You have to hear something
seven different times, seven different ways before you really get it."
And if you're only there six days (LAUGHS) that'd be pretty tough to do. Um,
kids need to be hearing at school from a health educator, at home from
their parents, from other adults in their lives. They need to be hearing it
enough that they're talking about it among themselves. Because none
of us are ever going to have enough exposure to them to give it to them as
many times as they need. But if they're getting good information that they
can then share and, and you're including the parents in what you're
trying to do - and I know how hard that is. The kids in our program often times
only had one parent. That one parent was working a couple of jobs. Um, not
that they didn't care. Often times they just were exhausted. And so getting
the parents involved is hard but it's really crucial because many of
these parents have made the same mistakes you're trying to help the kids
avoid, particularly around the areas of abstinence and teen pregnancy. And so
they can be wonderful advocates once they have good information. But, um
you know, six days a year, that's not very much. JON: Good point. Um, another
question... (PAUSE) Kathy, one of the things that you had mentioned - this is
Jon again... KATHY: Okay... JON: ...is cortisol. How it affects
stress and the - the importance of reducing stress and I was just
wondering as far as - especially with sex education and some of the
topics that are addressed um with abstinence education - with - how
beneficial it is to like gender-split classes for different topics for
things? If that would - helps reduce stress or that, that improves or
increases learning? KATHY: It absolutely helps reduce stress and it absolutely
increases learning. Um, having gender-specific groups so that kids can
ask questions they would not ask in front of the opposite sex especially
during adolescence. Keep in mind that during adolescence when kids are
in puberty and, and again - they're starting early and it goes on for several
years - that what girls are trying to do is look appealing to boys. And
what boys are trying to do is impress girls. And asking questions that may
imply you don't know something or that you need information about
something that may be a sensitive area is sometimes very, very
difficult. So when you get the kids in single-sex groups, they will ask
questions they'd never ask in a co-ed group. And especially with young
adolescents, it's a really good model to use. We always did this with our
groups and, and the boys - I mean, the boys can't ask questions about how their
body operates in front of girls without being mortified at this age. One
issue: Boys get 7 to 10 spikes a day in during puberty - when puberty's
just really going - 7 to 10 times a day they'll get these huge rushes of
testosterone which will bathe their brain and their body in
testosterone. One of the things that causes you to do is have an erection and
sometimes it can cause you to do that at a time when it's really inconvenient -
when people are watching. Um, we had a seventh grade teacher who said I asked
this guy to come up to the board and do a problem, to complete a math problem.
And he said, "I'd rather not." And she said, "Well, I'd rather you did and if
you don't, you'll get a zero." He said, "Fine. Give me a zero." And this
kid at least had a close enough relationship with his teacher that he went
to her later and tried to, you know, kind of explain and she finally got it and
said, "Oh, my gosh. It never occurred to me these could be issues boys could
be dealing with in ways that we never thought of." And that's sort of an
extreme example, but that's the kind of thing that boys won't talk about
in front of girls. But it's something they need to talk about and frankly,
they need adult males then to help them kind of work through. "Okay, what do
you do? "What do you do when your body sort of betrays you at times and
how do you handle these things. And if there are things I'm not supposed to
do, what do I do instead? You know, what - how am I supposed to handle this?"
And so I think it's really crucial for you to think about if you're not
offering single-sex opportunities, um, that you think about that as
part of your program plan. That's a great question, Jon. JON: Great. Thanks.
Great um point. There's another question on the - uh, or a comment on the
board. KATHY: Okay. Let me see if I'm back yet...okay. Let me get to
that one. "Is particular research on learning for boys and girls of teenage
parents?" Well, what we know is, and as you know from the research, that
kids who are raised in environments where they had teenage parents tend
to have teenage parents. The propensity is higher. All I can say is, "If
you're a parent at 16 or 17 or 18, you may be a good person, but you're
not mature. Your brain's not mature. Your body's not finishing being
mature. You won't have those high-level, problem-solving capacities
that you need in order to make good decisions as a parent. So you won't -
you'll not only now not be making good decisions for yourself, but not making
good decisions for your children. And most people want to be good parents.
Even teenagers who have babies most of them - they want to be good parents.
So we have to help them understand, if you want to be a good parent the best
thing to do is not become a parent when you're not ready to do it. Wait until
you've developed those skills, that maturity, so that you can be the best
parent that we know you want to be. That's another really good reason to
wait. I think there's another question under there, too. "I've
always..." Oh. "I always have a box that index cards are dropped in at
the end of class and that always seems to help with questions." Absolutely.
'Cause there are some questions even in a single-sex group a guy
might not want to ask and in a co-ed group nobody would want to ask. And if
the kids can trust you that the questions will be anonymous so that you can
couch them in such a way that nobody really knows who asked, that's a great
way. And if nobody asks a question you really want to answer? You can always
lace the boxes with a few questions of your own. JON: Great point. There's
another question or comment? KATHY: On the board? JON: No... KATHY:
Oh, okay. JON: No, I'm just asking if there's somebody else now that has
one. That's a great question. KATHY: Excellent question. JON: We'll wait
a few more seconds. Anybody has one? KATHY: There's - um while you're
waiting, I'm going to reference another book. Um, it's a really good
book and I can't remember the author off the top of my head because once
you're post-menopausal, you forget these things. But the name of the book
is, "How Can We Talk About That?" and I'll have that reference for you next
time. Um...it's an excellent book to help parents learn to deal with
questions of sex and sexuality with children from - from the time they
get them. You know, "How do we teach kids about good body consciousness."
In addition to "How do we answer questions when they get old enough to start
asking us about sex?" It's an excellent, excellent book. The woman who wrote
it, I've spoken with her. Um I think she did a very nice job and it would be a
good resource for you to take a look at. You know, some things in there might
fit for you and some might not, but there's excellent information and good
information to pass along to parents. (TRANSCRIPTION NOTE: "HOW CAN WE TALK
ABOUT THAT? OVEROCMING PERSONAL HANGUPS SO WE CAN TEACH KIDS THE RIGHT STUFF
ABOUT SEX AND MORALITY by Jane DiVita Woody) JON: Great. That's always nice
to have additional resources. So is there any more questions or comments
before we close this? (PAUSE) Okay. If not, this concludes today's web
cast. I would like to thank Kathy Stephens. We sincerely appreciate your
work with the Gurion Institute and expertise and knowledge you shared
today and we'll look forward to part two. We will be announcing the
date for that in the near future. We will also appreciate everyone that -
that we will - we also appreciate everyone that's participated in this call,
especially those who joined in the discussion, sent questions. Um That's
always very helpful. Um, I'd like to take a minute to announce a few of our
upcoming events. We have two more grantee showcase web casts coming up. On
September 10th, Dr. Nancy Copolla from Healthy Respect will present about
their organization's innovative methods for communicating health data
and statistics to teens. And the name of that is "The Truth about your
Reproductive Health." And on September 18th, Vanessa Allen, educational
coordinator for Worth the Wait, will share about her organization's innovative
ideas for working with Hispanic girls and their families. The webcast
title is "The Quincanera Celebration for Preserving the Right of Passage."
Please visit our website for more information and to register for these and
other events listed there also. The part two of this will probably end up being
early October um so it'll probably be about a month before we follow up with
part two on this. So we look forward to seeing you then. And um lastly,
please remember that as technical assistance advisors, we've available
to answer any questions um and if we don't know the answers, we'll try to find
out who does. And email us at abstinence@Pal-Tech.com
h.com>. Thanks for joining us for today's Webcast and have a great rest of the day.